Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Blog 2- The Fire(Piggy)

Those kids how could they be such KIDS! They had become something else warped into a monstrous pack. I gave them a scornful eye and some of the younger kids calmed down. Then they saw the older kids running around acting like wild animals. To them it seemed irresistible, the power the older kids had on them. I had to find some way to get them back into control. I started to yell "I've got the conch! I've got it," The kids continued to yell, and dance around the flames of the fire. It was an officious offer, and they didn't want it. I tried again "I've got the conch, you have to listen to what I say," Jack just gave me a vicious look and I turned away. The fire eventually died down. Soon other thing caught fire from the small embers. It started to take over the island. The smaller kids fallowed it as we went to walk around. Suddenly one of the kids wasn't there, I started to tell Ralph and the others. They looked at me with the thought of what could be the truth. The tumult of kids kept running, screaming "The snakes, The snakes!" They where so nimble running around the vines and trees. I was so scared of the truth. I was hoping that, that poor child was safe and just hiding from the snakes.

3 comments:

Gala said...

Hey. I like your blog but you didn't use some of the words right.
for Example
"They had become something else warped into a monstrous pack."
The word 'warped' does not make sense in the tense that you used it. Make sure you check for those mistakes before posting it. Besides that, great job.
Gala

Emma Christenfeld said...

Virginia-
Can you check for technical errors? These include starting new paragraphs when a new person speaks and checking the usage of warped. Great job!
-Emma

Mr. Shaddox said...

Virginia,

I definitely feel Piggy's hopelessness in this journal. The line, "They looked at me with the thought of what could be the truth," demonstrates the idea that Piggy knows he's right, yet the others are too controlled by Jack and Ralph to admit it.

REVISION: I'd like to know more about the situation that prompted the kids to run up the hill and into the jungle. Why do they become a monstrous pack?